The road to Kwandwe is long and desolate. Driving past the sprawling townships on the outskirts of the industrial city of Port Elizabeth, it becomes difficult to imagine the remote wilderness of Kwandwe: 22,000 hectares of land with an abundance of lions, rhino, giraffe and hippo to name just a few. I begin to fiddle with the TomTom, thinking I had input the wrong coordinates which would lead us to some isolated region of no return. The sign for Kwandwe is a ‘blink-and-you-miss-it’ affair. The first hint that you are in for something special is a guard house situated next to large metal gates with wire fencing stretching as far as the eye can see. With ominous clouds hovering above, it gave me the impression we were entering something akin to Jurassic Park.
A further 11km of dirt road awaits before you reach something resembling civilisation. This is not just any dirt road mind you, but a South African dirt road. They contain the kind of pot holes that make a mockery of what we might refer to as pot holes in Blighty. I re-read the car insurance documentation as the car pounds yet another divot. Baboons stare mercilessly at you from the side of the road. If they could roll their eyes at these ill-equipped tourists, they probably would.
Finally, we reach what looks like a small, mock medieval castle. Hetherton Towers was in fact an old fortified homestead, dating back to the days of the Frontier Wars of the 17th century. With its turrets still intact, it looks somewhat out of place alone in the isolated African scrub. But the once inside, this is where the warm welcome begins and the Kwandwe experience starts. Greeted with home-made lemonade and a hot towel, it is the last time we see our car until the end of our stay.
Once the formalities are taken care of we’re whisked off in a 4×4 on a 45 minute journey to the Great Fish River Lodge, the central building which houses the main lounge and dining area of Kwandwe. Decorated in colonial style – animal prints, thick carpets, old leather furniture, antique hunting implements and a large central stone fireplace which helps to take the chill off the encroaching night air, it’s easy to see why Kwandwe has become a haunt for celebrities wanting to get away from it all – there’s just you and the wildlife and nothing else.
Once we’re given a warm reception on our arrival and a glass of champagne, we’re taken to one of nine thatched cottages. The cottages are a short walk along a narrow, gritted footpath. What you need to bear in mind is that the entire area is essentially ‘lion kingdom’ – including the area around your cottage. A guest has never been attacked and it’s extremely unlikely that you would be mauled by something with sharp teeth and paws bigger than your head. But it all adds to the drama and excitement of the place when you’re taken back to your cottage in the evenings by an armed guard. I came face-to-face with a small female kudu (an antelope), sat out on the back porch, which was unlikely to do me any harm, but is more than I’m used to in South London.
Each cottage is well equipped and maximised for comfort: roll tops baths, incredibly inviting beds and great views. There are even outdoor showers and a plunge pool when the African sun is at its most fierce.
There’s only really one principal activity here: gawping at large animals – and lots of them. Assigned with a guide and a tracker throughout your stay, there are two safaris: one early morning start and one in the afternoon/early evening. The early morning starts, though painful if you’ve indulged in too much wine the night before, are usually the best for spotting big beasts, as these animals are usually at their most active before spending the afternoon sleeping off their kill.
Doc, our guide, was incredibly knowledgeable but without pushing hundreds of facts your way every five minutes. Often just staring out into the vast scrub-land in silence is the best way of taking in its magisterial beauty – and of course, keeping your eyes peeled is the best way of spotting something. Each morning Doc would ask: ‘what do you want to see today?’ Caesar, his tracker, perches on a custom-made seat attached to the front grill of the 4×4. His instincts are astonishing – spotting an extremely rare leopard from at least 1km away – or the merest paw-print impressions on a gravel track.
At a stop off, a table is whipped out with snacks and drinks laid on. In the morning hot chocolate with Amarula liqueur was a particularly indulgent favourite of mine. Not being guaranteed a sighting of every creature is part of what makes the experience exciting, especially when you do eventually come across an unexpected sighting. Spotting a lion a kilometre away and then hearing it roar is one of those moments that chills and which you never forget. We saw the fabled Big Five as well as pretty much everything else in between.
Kwandwe is an unforgettable place that prides itself on detail and catering for a guest’s every whim. By the end of our stay we were as happy as the well-fed lions.
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This sounds like a park well worth visiting – and without mosquitos – a significant plus.