If you’ve arrived at a hotel after a longer-than-you’d-like train journey, followed by an eye-gougingly expensive taxi, then you might be forgiven for feeling frazzled and out of sorts. The trick is how said hotel allows you to relax. In the case of Gloucestershire’s much-praised, much-loved Calcot & Spa, it’s the genuine warmth and professionalism of the welcome that puts you at ease immediately and allows your irritation and exhaustion to dissipate within moments.
Even on a cloudy, chilly March Sunday, which is challenging territory for even the most luxurious of establishments to thrive, Calcot’s dedication to making sure that all of its guests have a properly enjoyable time is in full display almost immediately.
I’m traveling en famille and so am shown to what is described as a “Generous Family Room”. The word ‘generous’ is about right. The one we’re staying in, Woodchester, is set over two floors. On the ground floor is a spacious and comfortable open-plan bedroom and sitting room, complete with free selection of snacks (chocolate bars, crisps, salted caramel popcorn and the like) and non-alcoholic drinks. A big plus.
A bigger plus comes in the form of our daughter’s adjoining bedroom, thoughtfully kitted out with bunk beds and toys and games, meaning that she has her own space to relax and play in. And perhaps the biggest plus of all comes in the top floor’s bathroom, which is fully luxurious and stylish; twin bathtubs sit aside one another, and there is a walk-in shower spacious enough to fit all three of us in at once, if we had so wished.
We do not, but there is an awful lot on site to keep us occupied. Nearby, there’s the kids-only Playbarn, where younger and older children alike can spend a few hours playing computer games, doing craft or simply entertaining themselves in the twelve-seater mini-cinema while their parents enjoy spa treatments or the open-air hot tub in the nearby spa.
We don’t opt for such indulgences but do take full advantage of the sumptuously appointed and deeply stylish swimming pool, which caters to serious swimmers and larking children alike – the latter admittedly at prescribed times in the afternoons – and I manage a quick dip in the fizzing hot tub before I am driven out by a quartet of women, champagne glasses in hand.
We are having the most wonderful stay, so it’s a slight pity to report that dinner in the Brasserie, which should be the pièce de resistance, proves to be a bit of a let-down. The menu is a relatively simple one of old favourites, which usually bodes well, but nothing that we order quite lives up to its full potential. My rib-eye steak is chewy and lacks flavour, and the Koffmann’s chips it comes with are undercooked and rubbery.
Our daughter orders the kids’ fish and chips, and an adult’s cod turns up, before being whisked away. My wife orders scallops for a starter, which are delicious, but also minuscule for £24 a portion. The service is friendly but slightly chaotic, with dishes coming at the wrong times, and it’s hard not to feel that we’ve visited on an off night.
Still, breakfast the next morning in the same place is wonderful, and honour is restored by a magnificent smoked salmon and scrambled eggs for my wife and hearty full Cotswolds breakfast for me, with all the bells and whistles that you’d expect; our daughter is especially pleased with the buffet and solemnly informs us, after making short work of yoghurt, cereal, boiled eggs and pain au chocolat alike, that she will be ‘making space’ for Weetabix.
We doubt that this will be the case, and so it proves. And then there’s just time for a quick stroll round the capacious grounds (with 220 acres, this has to be one of the most comprehensive hotel sites anywhere in the Cotswolds) and then back to reality after a soul-restoring minibreak. Slightly dodgy dinner aside, this is about as close to the ideal as one could wish for, and Calcot & Spa’s elevated reputation is, we are proud to say, fully earned.
Calcot & Spa, Tetbury, Gloucestershire, GL8 8YJ. For more information, including details of offers, such as the midweek spa break and ‘kids stay free’, please visit www.calcot.co.
