What a difference a couple of hours (and a tipple or two) can make. Cocooned in splendour, a flute of the good stuff in-hand, I almost forgot that just this morning I was a woman on the brink. It was a curious caterwaul which caused me to hot foot it to my daughter’s bedroom. The scene which greeted me loosely resembled a PG-rated Emin installation; the floor pockmarked with crumpled clothes and broken toys, an unmade bed lying amid the chaos. My 5-year-old daughter stood, as ever, at the centre of the carnage, but this time she was brandishing a glue stick and an apologetic wince. What followed was a tachycardic hour of panic packing whilst simultaneously prising what I now know is industrial-strength adhesive from her hair, strand by strand.
Yet, by some miracle, I have made it to my destination, suitcase and all. Now, perched beneath one of Pennyhill Park’s perfectly poised parasols, gazing across the Surrey countryside, my heart rate is positively reptilian: beat, quaff, beat—I feel like I’ve fallen into a Gainsborough painting—only with better drinks and less corsetry. Now that’s a momentous upgrade—sorry, Trace.
Yes, these sumptuous surrounds and my fizz-filled flute are casting a welcome haze of irreverence over the morning’s drama- I mean, who actually needs hair anyway? Oh golly, I think I may be giddy on the good life already – though in fairness, inhaling enough glue to keep Blue Peter going for a until Christmas may have contributed to my high spirits.
Thankfully, I’m in the perfect place for a little detox, with one of the country’s biggest and best spas lurking within the hotel’s 120 acres of parkland. In fact, measuring in at 45,000 square feet, the spa almost warrants its own postcode! It certainly looks the part, radiating out from a dazzling tableau of glistening pools and steaming Canadian hot tubs, glamorous spa-goers lolling around sipping their obligatory midday Aperol spritz. In truth, it looks more like Baden-Baden than Bagshot! In the hot tub hinterland hide a string of punchily priced private poolside cabanas, with well-stocked fridges, remote privacy screens and lustrious, jet-powered, freestanding copper bathtubs — think a great British beach hut…on steroids.
The pizzaz continues inside, where you’ll find everything from a mud room and an ice igloo to a ballroom pool. For those unfamiliar with the latter, picture a slick, colonnaded Roman bath with Beethoven and chums piped through the underwater speakers. Why? Because Tinseltown’s big hitters don’t jump in the copter bound for Bagshot for a bog-standard bathe, do they?
And it certainly seems to hit the spot, over the years this Exclusive Collection hideaway has seen everyone from Nicole Kidman and Cameron Diaz to Justin Timberlake pitch up for a spot of watery wellness – I bet they didn’t have to pick colossal amounts of glue from a diminutive scalp before jumping in the heli!
This A-list following goes part way to explaining their overly indulgent abodes. With 124 rooms and suites split between the historic main house and more modern extensions, all tastes and needs are well catered to here. Those upgrading to a signature suite have a surprise or two in store; sure, you’ll find plenty of hand-carved four poster beds, television-topped twin baths and private terraces knocking about, but book the opulent Muirfeild Suite and you’ll have a private outdoor cedar wood hot tub, whilst those staying in the Twickenham Suite can soak in its infamous 8-seater jacuzzi.
I digress. Back at the spa, the extensive treatment menu reads like a cure all for frazzled parents (or partied out popstars), with everything from massages and masks to mud baths. Whilst tempted by their ‘Muddy Spa Break’ package, frankly, I couldn’t face any more mess, so opted for their acclaimed Pro-Sleep Retreat, which promised to reset my circadian rhythms for the dreamiest of slumbers, leaving me restored and ready to face whatever domestic drama came my way next.
It’s fair to say I was a tad cynical as I pulled on my paper pants, but I can confirm that even the most neurotic guests will find it almost impossible not to drift off during this hour-long, featherlight stroke-athon. In fact, I would go so far as to say that it is the most relaxing spa treatment that I have tried to date – and I’ve been around the block, spa trekking around the globe trying everything from hot balloon massages to vampire facials!
But there are two jewels in Pennyhill Park’s crown; as well as a world-class spa, the 5* hotel also boasts world-class dining, with its very own Michelin-starred restaurant, Latymer. Tucked away in the oldest part of the hotel, the ever-evolving 6-course Discovery tasting menu on offer at this intimate,jewel-hued, adult-only fine dining restaurant is shaped by chef Steve Smith’s obsession with sustainable, hyper-seasonal ingredients and quality local suppliers.
For those after something a little more laidback, there is also the hotel’s family-friendly eatery, Hillfield Restaurant & Bar. Don’t be fooled into thinking this is a high-chair speckled, second rate affair – the food at this 2 AA-rosette establishment is top notch and you’ll fit in whether you’re wearing denim or Dior. Nailing both presentation and provenance, Hillfield adopts a farm-to-fork, nose-to-tail ethos, with the menu showcasing a bevy of local artisan suppliers as well as their own homegrown produce. The standout dish on my visit? A melt in the mouth lamb loin, served with a rich braised lamb shoulder shepherd’s pie, estate grown broccoli and wild garlic.
Suitably stuffed, we ventured next door for a nightcap in the Hillfield Bar. Perched upon a velvet sofa, a flute of the good stuff in hand, I watched the light dance across the bar’s chandelier as the resident pianist sprang into action. What a difference a day can make. Sipping from my fruity flute I embraced the calm – beat, quaff, beat. It’s official: I was high on the good life—and there wasn’t a glue stick in sight.
Pennyhill Park, London Road, Bagshot, Surrey GU19 5EU. For more information, including details of spa days and breaks, such as the Rose Gold Cabana Escape, please visit www.exclusive.co.uk. Pennyhill Park is part of the Exclusive collection.
