I didn’t expect The Perfect Murder to be funny. The artwork was creepy and the interview inside the programme with novelist Peter James, on the inspiration he took from the thousands of people who go missing in the UK each year, led me to expect a gritty crime drama. I got that wrong. Directed by the award-winning Ian Talbot, this is the first time a James novel has been adapted for the stage. The author, who is also one of the play’s producers, appeared on BBC Breakfast to promote it and also express his pleasant surprise at the amount of black humour injected into an otherwise grim story line. Currently on an extensive UK tour following the world première at the Charing Cross Theatre in January this year, I caught up with the show at Wycombe Swan.
Although Les Dennis isn’t likely to collect an Olivier award for his performance as Victor Smiley, it’s another string to the bow of sometime Family Fortunes presenter and Extras star, for he does know how to work an audience and make them chuckle. With a cleverly split-level set designed by Michael Holt, the action takes place in the modest residence of the Smiley couple who live just outside Brighton. Victor visits psychic Croatian prostitute Kamila Walcak (Simona Armstrong) three times a week but doesn’t make love to his wife Joan (Claire Goose). At home he snores ‘like an elephant’ (relegating Joanie to the spare room) and has the annoying habit of humming the Dambusters tune. Then there’s the stereotypical marital tug of war over the TV controller – cue sound effects from Martin Hodgson.
Kamila seemed somewhat blasé when Victor announces his intention to murder his wife, which, for a hooker who assists a young Detective (Steven Miller) in solving murders with her psychic visions, seems rather like double standards. Victor offering to redecorate the spare room in Prussian blue and adding cyanide to the paint certainly sounds like something out of Agatha Christie – so it’s just as well they didn’t try to give us the heebie jeebies. Paying no heed when Joan (who works in Asda) starts wearing a new haircut and LK Bennett clothing, Victor is caught completely unawares when Joan and her boyfriend, Don (Gray O’Brien), murder him.
The audience were in hysterics by the time Joan and Don were struggling to wrap Victor’s corpse (arms flopping) in bin liners and O’Brien seemed to be struggling to contain his laughter. With the premise that ‘the perfect murder’ is the one we never hear about, and taking inspiration from the famous Brookside soap plot, Don buries the body under the patio. But, just when you think it’s going to be wearily predictable, the ending turns out to have a fun twist. Be under no illusion, if you are looking for a spine-chilling thriller this will fail on every level, but it is an entertaining piece of comedy and a highly competent production which offers sheer escapism for a couple of hours.
The Perfect Murder is on a UK tour until 26th April 2014, including Richmond, visit the website for more information and to book tickets.
