Those of you who know Douglas Adams’s comic sci-fi masterpiece The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy will recall the historic discovery made by supercomputer Deep Thought: that the answer to the ultimate question of life, the universe and everything is 42. However, even if that is the answer, what actually is the ultimate question? Perhaps it might be: what is the secret of true happiness?
In my book, happiness is a long hot shower after a hard day’s skiing. But I’ve continually wrestled with the question of what the optimum temperature is for said shower. Too hot and you’ll end up beating a hasty retreat, scalded and unhappy. Too cold and it is a similar story. However, the shower in my room at the Mont Cervin Palace in Zermatt, a traditional five star hotel in the heart of this iconic Swiss alpine town, had a precise temperature control. After a process of trial and error it should be seen as no coincidence that I found 42 degrees to be the optimum temperature for the 15 minutes plus showers I like to indulge in after skiing. This allowed enough time for a thorough scrub and a complete journey through my repertoire of shower songs, which starts with Bugsy Malone before moving on to Oklahoma and finally some Girls Aloud.
If the fictional supercomputer Deep Thought had been asked to design the ideal ski resort, as well as find the answer to the ultimate question of life etc etc, it is just possible that Zermatt would have been the answer. Because Zermatt has almost everything a really top class ski resort requires: an iconic mountain – the Matterhorn – that towers over the town and provides a stunning backdrop to almost every run; chocolate box-pretty wooden chalets; a car free centre so you can happily stumble about in ski boots; some of the best mountain restaurants in the world; extensive on and off piste skiing at high altitude; a ski area linked with Italy for plates of pasta and polenta at lunch; and a selection of fantastic bars, restaurants and hotels in the resort centre.
Prince among these centrally-located hotels is the Mont Cervin: it is just a four or five minute walk (or two minute sleigh ride) from the train station and the nearest lift is a similar distance. The hotel also has one of only two Michelin starred restaurants in Zermatt; a perfect wood panelled bar for pre-dinner aperitifs; a fully equipped ski room; and the kind of swimming pool and spa complex that weary skiers (and non-skiers) dream of as they make their last turns of the day.
An early evening soak in the outdoor swimming pool (heated to 35 degrees rather than 42 unfortunately), watching the moon rise over the Alps can’t be beaten as a way to round off your day. Unless, of course, you choose to venture into the sauna and steam rooms; although for my prudish companion, the hotel’s instruction that the spa is a “nude area” was enough to put him off venturing in to its inner recesses. Not your correspondent though, who spent fifteen enjoyable minutes in the Finnish sauna in the company of a pair of elderly Swiss gentlemen.
Our comfortable room had all the luxuries you could ask for: walk in closet; not one, but two bathrooms; a Nespresso machine; and that climate control shower. Best of all though was the view from our balcony on to the Matterhorn. Countless writers have come to Zermatt and written pages and pages on this massive, pyramidal, beautiful brute of a mountain: the great Victorian polymath John Ruskin called it the “most noble cliff in Europe”. I don’t think I could ever tire of waking up and seeing the pinky-orange light of the morning sun reflecting on to its eastern face. Appropriate, therefore, that Mont Cervin is the French name for the Matterhorn.
Even if the view of the Matterhorn isn’t enough to tempt you from your bed, the hotel’s magnificent breakfast spread will. I can’t recall seeing a better breakfast anywhere, ever. Birchermuesli, cereal, fruit, yoghurt, pastries, more types of bread than you can shake a ski pole at, cheese, dried meats, smoked salmon, bacon and eggs, champagne for bucks fizz, and the piece de resistance, a be-toqued chef ready and waiting behind a little stove to cook your fried eggs and omelettes to order.
I cursed the previous evening’s rosti for ruining my appetite as I only managed a plate of birchermuesli, some fruit, and scrambled eggs and bacon. If you are able to tolerate a touch more formality from the waiting staff than is probably required at breakfast – my orange ski pants raised more than one eyebrow, although I was later upstaged by a fellow guest in a pair of peach chinos – it made for a cracking start to a day on the slopes.
As a keen skier with a brand new pair of fat skis to test, I had been hoping for a late surge of snowfall; however, the mutterings around the resort were not so positive. The last snowfall was two to three weeks prior to my mid December visit and while the snow cover on piste was fine, thanks to an army of snow making machines, there was nothing to be had away from the crowds.
Nevertheless there was plenty of skiing to be had. In the Klein Matterhorn area there is lots of easy cruising and the chance to take the cable car up to over 3,800m – the highest ski lift in Europe. So high that the prudish ski buddy was left feeling light headed from the altitude. Over in Zermatt’s other ski areas – the Gornergat and Sunnegga – the skiing on piste is more exciting, with some steeper runs and long, 1,000m, descents from the top of the Rothorn. For the more social skier, there are also some excellent places for lunch, especially if you make your way over to the tiny village of Findeln and book a table at the Findlerhof, which is one of the best.
Despite spending all the time I can in the mountains, this was my first trip to Zermatt. I had been told to expect good things and I was not disappointed. It has almost everything you could want from a ski resort, and if you choose to stay at the Mont Cervin Palace you will not be disappointed. Just as long as you go to breakfast in possession of a hearty appetite and a pair of beige trousers.
View Hotel Info, Rates & Availability
For more information about Zermatt, including facilities, weather and snow reports and ski packages and offers, visit the MySwitzerland website.
